


letters for the dead

by unrequited_heartbreak



Series: sav's dreamsmp drabbles [3]
Category: DreamSMP
Genre: Gen, Letters, Mentioned Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Wilbur Soot, Past Abuse, President Toby Smith | Tubbo, Suicidal Thoughts, Toby Smith | Tubbo-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:48:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28364949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unrequited_heartbreak/pseuds/unrequited_heartbreak
Summary: Dear Wilbur,I’m not sure where to start. I want to say I miss you, but I don't.(or, Tubbo writes two letters after the battle on the 16th. A month later, he writes another.)
Series: sav's dreamsmp drabbles [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2047190
Comments: 14
Kudos: 64





	letters for the dead

**Author's Note:**

> i got this idea and i couldn't get it out of my head, so i wrote it in a haze last night and decided to post it today! spelling mistakes are intentional, and be warned that this gets pretty heavy
> 
> hope you enjoy :D

Dear Wilbur,

I’m not sure where to start. I want to say I miss you, but I don't. I miss family, and I miss L’Manburg, and sunshine, and having a leader to follow, but I don't miss you. I almost wish you were still around so I could tell you in person how much you hurt us. That feels mean, but I've watched Tommy spiral when he hears footsteps or doors locking, and I think you deserve it. 

Then again, I know Tommy misses you. And Phil and Techno. You were family. I wish it could have stayed that way for just a bit longer, it’s what Tommy deserves. He deserves an older brother who will love him and not use him as a pawn. He deserves a friend who can defend him. You stole everything from him and from me, too. We were all doing so well and  _ you _ fucked it all. 

Maybe it’s easier to blame you now that you’re dead, and you’ve blown everything up. Fuck you for that, by the way. This is small and petty and stupid but you blew up my old house, man. That fucking sucked. It sucked that everything was disposable to you. You were so  _ selfish _ , all the time, you couldn’t stop to think about anyone else ever. Were you too far gone, lost in your head? Did you really just not care? I don’t know if I even want to know, really, I just wish I could scream at you and make you feel as scared as we were. 

You became the villain in the end, just like you wanted. 

Maybe villainy is too black and white. Maybe you thought what you were doing was right but  _ god _ you must have been so blind. Tommy was just a kid, and I was just a kid, and Fundy was just a kid. This was your fight and your business and you fucked us up over it. I have to govern a crater in the ground now, at 16. I hate it. I don’t want to be president. I'll never say that, because I have to be, for them. And I have to be strong and I have to be silent and I have to be everything that you weren’t. Everything that schlatt wasn’t.

Tommy wishes he could speak with you one more time and he wishes you would have told him you loved him. I don’t have the heart to tell him you never would have said that. 

You should feel guilty. 

Tubbo

  
__

Dear Schlatt,

You were a bastard. I would say you were a monster, but at the end, I saw how you cowered. You were human, for sure, and you were horrible.

Quackity still has nightmares sometimes, and the worst part is that I know that wouldn’t make you feel sorry. Your death felt all wrong and icky, but it’s what you deserved. I'm tired of living in fear of you, and I'm glad Quackity won’t have to again, or Fundy. Your anger was violent and unjustified and cruel. 

You and Wilbur both hurt my friends. You both hurt me too, but that doesn’t matter as much. You broke people and you left them to pick up the pieces by themselves. How is anyone supposed to get closure? How are they supposed to heal? I wish I could hurt you as much as you hurt us. I wish I could make you read this and I wish you would cry over it.

I miss the comfort of Manburg. When you made coffee in the morning and ruffled my hair. Sometimes I want to go back, but I know I never got most of your cruelness. Even when you hit me or yelled or anything, even on the worst days, you hurt them more. Maybe I could forgive you if it was just me.

You were sick. And maybe, in another universe, we could have been family. For their sake. You could have been a great leader. You could have been a good father. In the end, you were nothing, and you’ll fade from everyone's memory, I'll make sure of it. I hope the last time anyone thinks of you it will be with disgust. 

You were a bad man and a worse president. 

Tubbo

__

i’m so sorry tommy

I didn’t know you were hurting and i was so so selfish and I can't ever apologize enough. i was so fucking stupid. i don’t know why i ever listened to dream

i’ve made plans for a funeral

everything hurts so much and I nearly threw up when i realized what  the to it was for and i miss you and i’m sorry and i’m terrified of running a country and i’m afraid i’m becoming like schlatt because you became like wilbur and I don’t want the cycle to reapeat again and i’d kill dream if i could and i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you and sometimes i want to join you and I wish you could have become a ghost or given me something because all i remember is betrayel and it makes me want to hurt myself 

i’m so so sorry 


End file.
